love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
