Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
