When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
