jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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