i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
