after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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