Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
