so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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