new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
