I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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