I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
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He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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