I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
