Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
