Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
