How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
