with your own penis?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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