Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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