Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
