She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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