you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
