I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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