If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
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He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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