There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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