I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
