Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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