Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
