I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
