Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
