oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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