So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
operation harelip BJ is a go
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
