I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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