god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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