we're blogging at a bar
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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