you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
