in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
