mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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