Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
