Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
