we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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