How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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