that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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