I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize