If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
