I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
