i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
birth control should be required to get into college
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
