It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
