No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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