My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
