remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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