lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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