even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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