dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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