dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
