quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
