You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
