You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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