i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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