Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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