I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
