I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
