Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
