The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
